Going through a breakup is never easy even if you are the one that called it off. One of the things that can help you get over a relationship breakup is coming to terms quickly with how long it could take for you to move on and get over the breakup.
In this article, we are going to explore the different things that can affect how long it takes to get over a breakup as well as the emotional stages that you go through and practical things that you can do to speed up your breakup recovery process.
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Understanding The Breakup Recovery Timeline
When people ask “How long does it take to get over a breakup” the truth of the matter is that that is a very difficult question to answer. It doesn’t have a straightforward answer because there are several things that need to be taken into consideration first. Let’s look at what some of those things are.
1. How long was the relationship?
The length of time that you were in the relationship has a huge impact on how long it will take to get over it. The longer you are in that relationship the more your lives become intertwined and the more difficult it is to undo. This alone can extend the timeline for your recovery.
2. How deep was your emotional connection?
Depending on how much of a deep emotional connection you had with your partner will also affect the recovery period. Some people in relationships tend to be very emotionally connected. They do everything together and almost think the exact same things. If your relationship was like this then you need to understand that it will take some time to move on from that.
3. What were the circumstances of the breakup?
The reasons for the relationship breakdown will affect how quickly you can get over it. Whether you were the one to end the relationship, if there was infidelity, or even if it was mutual. All of these things will play a part in the recovery process and healing after the breakup.
4. What is your support system like?
Having a strong support system will help to pull you out of the dark place. Close family and friends can really make a difference to your breakup recovery. You will have the ability to lean on them when you are feeling fragile and that will help you tremendously.
The Emotional Stages of Getting Over A Breakup
In the same way that grief has a process and stages, so does getting over a breakup. There will be several emotional stages of a breakup that you will have to go through. Although everyone’s overall experience can be different, these are the most common ones.
1. Shock and Denial
Shock and denial is one of the emotions that most people will feel almost immediately. There will be a lot of disbelief going on and you will have to process those feelings pretty quickly if you want to begin your healing journey.
2. Anger and Resentment
You may not be expecting this emotion but it can certainly happen. As you begin to process your feeling of loss you may feel some emotions of resentment towards your ex.
3. Bargaining
At some point, you will sit down and wonder how you got to this point. What went wrong for your relationship to have ended in this way? You may even begin to think about ways to get your ex back if you are not the one who called things off. Replaying moments where things went wrong is pretty normal in this situation.
4. Depression and Sadness
Depression and sadness are usually the longest stage out of all of them. This is where feelings of deep sadness and loneliness begin to creep in. It usually begins to happen as you begin to get your head around things and life begins to settle down.
5. Acceptance and Healing
As time begins to pass you will eventually begin to accept things for the way that they are. You will accept the breakup and begin to focus on your personal growth and the future laid out ahead of you.
Factors That Influence How Long it Takes To Get Over A Breakup
The healing process doesn’t have a timeline but there are several things that can have an impact on how quickly or slowly you begin to recover from your breakup.
1. Your Personality
The type of personality that you have will have a major influence on how quickly you begin to recover. Some people are naturally more resilient and they will bounce back pretty quickly and for others, it might take a little longer if you are more sensitive.
2. Coping Mechanisms
You may not have thought very much about coping mechanisms to help you get over your breakup but there are a few things that you can do to help speed up the breakup healing time. Things like journaling and therapy can be a huge help in clearing your head. On the other hand things like rebound relationships will slow down your recovery time as you are not working on yourself and your true feelings.
3. Past Experiences
If you’ve had multiple relationships end in the past these can carry their own levels of trauma. If that is the case then you will need more time to recover.
4. Current Life Circumstances
The current condition of your life will either help or hinder how you recover from a breakup. Having stress from work, family or any other force can affect your ability to recover quickly.
Practical Tips To Speed Up The Healing Process
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Time is going to be your greatest asset in this situation. With time you can begin to heal. The amount of time does not matter, what matters is that you give yourself permission to grieve and to feel your true emotions. Don’t rush the healing process.
2. Focus on Self Care
Use this time to focus on yourself. Self-care is going to be something that you need right now. Do things that will promote your well-being, things such as exercising, eating healthy and getting enough sleep will all help to put you in a much better position where you can think and process things correctly.
3. Stay Connected with Friends and Family
Keep good people around you, whether that be family or friends. They will help you and be a support to you when you need to vent, need perspective or feel like doing something silly. They will be the ones to help you through this difficult time.
4. Engage in new activities
Engaging in new activities will give you the opportunity to rediscover who you are and distract you from the pain and loss of the breakup. It will also give you a sense of accomplishment when you achieve those goals.
5. Seek Professional Help
If you really want to know how to speed up your breakup recovery, if all else fails then you should give therapy or counseling a shot. These things can provide you with valuable tools and support at a time when you really need it.
Common Myths About Getting Over a Breakup
In every aspect of life, there are going to be myths that come across, things that people believe to be true which aren’t necessarily true. Here are some common myths about getting over a breakup that you should know.
“It takes half the time of the relationship to get over it.” – This is something that people really believe, but it is not backed by any scientific evidence. The actual time to recover varies from person to person.
“You need to get back out there immediately” – Jumping straight into a new relationship is never a good idea. You need time to heal and process your feelings first so that you can think more clearly.
“Staying friends with your ex will speed up recovery” – It’s not impossible to stay friends with your ex but being amicable is probably better in the beginning rather than full-on friends. In order to heal properly, especially in the beginning, no contact is probably for the best.
When Will I Finally Feel Better?
One of the hardest parts of a breakup is not knowing when the pain will end. While there’s no exact timeline, most people start to feel better within a few months. However, it’s normal to experience lingering emotions or memories long after the breakup. Remember that healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have ups and downs along the way.
Final Thoughts on How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Breakup?
The process of getting over a breakup varies from person to person and situation to situation. By understanding the factors that can influence recovery time and by being proactive in steps to help you heal, your breakup recovery process can be reduced.
Remember that there is no rush when it comes to healing, it’s just one day at a time, one step at a time until you get there.
Be kind and patient to yourself and things will most definitely get better.
Related posts:
How to heal after a long-term breakup
8 Things to help you get over a breakup
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