Finding Love After Divorce: Why Matchmaking Beats Endless Swiping

Divorce Changes You – And That’s Okay

One day, you’re part of a “we,” making shared decisions, building routines, and imagining a future together. Next, you’re relearning how to navigate life and dating on your own terms.

If you’re anything like me, the idea of jumping back into the dating pool after divorce feels equal parts exciting and terrifying all at the same time. There’s freedom in starting over fresh, but also a quiet fear.

For many of us, dating apps might seem like the obvious first step. They promise convenience, control, and a low-pressure way to test the waters to see what is out there.

I thought that, too, until I signed up for one.

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The Allure of Dating Apps Post-Divorce

I remember when I downloaded my first dating app. I was filled with excitement thinking that this was going to be the answer to a lot of my prayers.

At first, I felt empowered. A few swipes later, and suddenly things didn’t feel so rosy. That initial rush faded fast. Soon, I was drowning in a sea of “potential matches”. Was I supposed to go through each one?

3 Things No One Tells You About Dating Apps After Divorce

1. They’re Designed To Keep You Swiping, Not Connecting

Dating apps thrive on endless choice and not meaningful matches.

The more you swipe, the more ad revenue they generate. It’s like being handed a 500-page menu when you just want a good meal, overwhelm is inevitable. Not to mention the fact that swiping can give you serious FOMO. How do you even stop and pay attention?

I remember someone saying to me, “It’s like shopping for groceries when you’re starving. You either leave with nothing or make impulsive choices you regret later.”

2. Depth is Replaced With Dopamine Hits

After the emotional security of marriage (even one that didn’t go according to plan), app interactions feel somehow shallow. If someone does manage to catch your attention, it might lead to a few good initial conversations, but often it doesn’t translate to real compatibility.

3. The Ghosting Wound Hits Harder Post Divorce

After the permanence of marriage, being ghosted by someone you exchanged three messages with hurts in a different kind of way.

It’s not just a simple rejection, it’s a reminder of how disposable and fickle relationships can be if you don’t both have the same intent.

Why Matchmaking Feels Like a Lifeline

After my dating app fiasco, I then went down the good old “organic” route of asking friends to set me up.

That died a very quick death because I quickly realised that most of my friends friends were either already married or just didn’t have enough friends that were suitable for what I was looking for.

In my case, I was very fortunate in the way that I met my partner, but we had both had very similar experiences when it came to dating apps, neither of us had a good experience.

We decided to work on our relationship, and we discovered a few things.

This is when the idea came about for us to start our own matching experience called More To Love Matchmaking. We knew that matchmaking was a completely different world from dating apps.

Our matchmaking Service was going to be intentional and geared towards those who are divorced or coming out of long-term relationships.

Modern matchmaking isn’t about getting a whole bunch of people and seeing who you match the best with. It’s about exploring meaningful connections that are aligned with what you are looking for.

This Is How Matchmaking Is Different From A Dating App

1. We ask the right questions:

We don’t ask you basic questions like, what is your favourite colour? We’ll ask you questions that will help connect you to someone who aligns with you.

What did you learn about yourself from your marriage?
What non-negotiables did divorce clarify for you?
What do you want from your next relationship?

Conversations around these types of questions will help bring you closer to finding your ideal match.

2. We Do The Pre-Vetting Work

No more guessing if someone is emotionally available. We pre-vet dates.

Are they really single (you’d be shocked how many app users aren’t)?
Do they want a relationship, or just a distraction?
Do your values and lifestyles align beyond surface-level interests?

3. The Emotional Safety Net

Dating post-divorce can trigger unexpected vulnerabilities. A good matchmaker doesn’t just set you up and then leave you to it. They check in afterward.

How did you feel during the date?

What resonated with you? What didn’t?

This kind of feedback is helpful for both parties.

The Hidden Gift of Post-Divorce Dating

When it comes to dating apps, you can spend a lot of time wondering why someone ghosted you, if you were good enough, and if you did something wrong. When it comes to matchmaking, you get to ask yourself better questions, such as:

Did I feel respected?
Did our values match up?
Is this someone I can trust with my healing heart?

A Way Forward (Without the Swipe Fatigue)

If you’re feeling stuck in the app cycle, here’s my challenge to you:

1. Audit Your Emotional Energy

Are you swiping out of loneliness or hope?
How do you feel after using apps? Energised or depleted?

2. Define Your ‘Why’

Are you seeking companionship? A life partner? Or just proof you’re still desirable? (All are valid, but clarity helps.)

Final Thoughts on Why Matchmaking Beats Dating Apps

Divorce changes you, you realise the things you will no longer accept, and that’s a gift.

If apps leave you feeling like just another profile in a stack, maybe it’s time to try a different way. You can sign up for More To Love Matchmaking here

Because after surviving the end of a marriage, you deserve something special and meaningful.

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