Dating can feel like a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes you are on a high and other times it feels ass though you are all the way at the bottom. And sometimes you have no clue where you are.
While there’s no perfect formula for love, there are some common missteps that can trip you up along the way. There are mistakes that we make along the way that can ruin the relationship that we are trying to build. Today we are going to look at 10 of the top dating mistakes that people often make when dating.
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10 Dating Mistakes That You Keep Making
1. Rushing the Dating Process
The Mistake: You meet someone amazing and immediately start imagining your future together. You dream about all the amazing things you will share, how many children you will have together and what your first house will look like. While being optimistic is not a bad thing, moving too fast doesn’t help you to see things as they are now and therefore you can cause you to overlook issues within the relationship. Moving too fast can also overwhelm the other person.
The Fix: Slow down! Enjoy the early stages of getting to know the other person without all the pressure. Let things unfold naturally.
2. Playing Hard to Get
The Mistake: The days of playing hard to get are over.. People have since woken up to the fact that its toxic behaviour and quite frankly it’s a waste of time. It’s not a game that many people want to play anymore. Waiting days to text back, pretending you’re “too busy,” or acting aloof to seem mysterious is overrated. No one has time for that.
The Fix: Be interested if you’re interested and not if you are not! Tell the person “I had a great time” instead of pretending. It’s more attractive to show a level of interest rather than give no feedback.
3. Ignoring the Little Red Flags
The Mistake: If someone shows they are are uninterested, take it for what it is and move on quickly. Constantly trying to give the person another chance to confirm if they are sure they don’t want you is going to be mentally exhausting. They cancel last-minute constantly, give vague answers, or seem inconsistent. If you continuously brush it off because the chemistry seems good, you are not only lying to yourself but you are also setting yourself up for heartbreak.
The Fix: Pay attention too patterns. Chemistry is great, but respect and reliability matter more in the long run.
4. Bringing Up Your Ex a Lot
The Mistake: Someone who is constantly bringing up their ex or referring to them in one capacity or another can appear to be unavailable. Mentioning your past relationships too often (even casually) can make it seem like you’re not over them. This is not something that you want if you are trying to have a fresh start and move on with someone new.
The Fix: Keep discussions about your ex to a minimum unless it’s directly relevant. Focus on the person in front of you and not the things that happened in the past.
5. Trying Too Hard to Impress
The Mistake: The best thing you can do when you are getting to know someone new is to be yourself. Stop pretending to be something/ someone that you are not in order to impress and be liked. Pretending to love hiking when you’ve never left the city, or pretending to be a foodie when your diet is 50% takeout is not representing who you really are. It’s not even something that you will be able to keep up with for a long period of time. At some point your guard will slip and the real you will show up.
The Fix: Be authentically you! The right person will like you for you, not a performative version. If they don’t like you for who you are then they are not your person.
6. Overanalysing Every Little Thing
The Mistake: “They took three hours to reply, don’t they like me? Why did they use that emoji?” Thinking these things and Overanalysing is not a good thing. It not only will mess with you mentally but you are also opening up the door to starting unnecessary arguments that need not be there.
The Fix: Take a step back. Not every text needs decoding and not everything means more than what is in front of you. If you’re unsure, ask instead of spiralling.
7. Dropping Your Own Life
The Mistake: Just because you’ve been on a couple of dates with someone does not mean that you should suddenly change your whole life to fit around this person. Suddenly you are canceling on friends, skipping workouts, or neglecting hobbies because you’re wrapped up in a new romance. You’ve basically dropped your whole life for someone who you are still trying to figure things out with.
The Fix: Keep being you. Independence is an attractive feature and any healthy relationship has balance between the life you have for yourself and the life you will share with the other person.
8. Being Too Negative
The Mistake: Venting about your job, bad dates, or life frustrations nonstop. Everything is against you, people are against you, the world is against you. This is not healthy. It’s okay to vent sometimes and everyone has bad days but constantly complaining that something is happened to you, or that you are being targeted in some way comes across as very much as having a victim mentality. A little realism is fine, but too much can drain the vibe.
The Fix: Keep things light at first. Save deeper venting for when you’re more comfortable with each other but even then keep it balanced.
9. Settling Because You’re Lonely
The Mistake: Staying with someone who’s “just okay” because you don’t want to be single if not fair on either of you. If you are not feeling the other person, or if you just want companionship, make it clear. It’s unfair to string someone along if your heart is not in it because a some point you will begin to look elsewhere. Your partner should be a choice not an option.
The Fix: Know you’re worth. A mediocre relationship isn’t better than being happily single.
10. Not Speaking Up About What You Want
The Mistake: Expecting your partner to know what you want without having said it, is not fair. It’s a game that they simply can not win. Hoping that they will just know what you want and need is unrealistic. Getting upset when they don’t meet your expectations is just unhealthy.
The Fix: Communicate! If you want to hugged more, want to see more effort from your partner or you just clearer plans, say so. This doesn’t have to be a guess in game.
Final Thoughts On Dating Mistakes You Might Be Making
As mentioned before dating is not a one size fits all. Mistakes are going to happen. Dating is a learning process and the more you do it the better you will get at it and the more it will become obvious to you what you want.
The key is to learn, adjust, and keep a sense of humour about it all. Dating isn’t about being perfect, it’s about finding someone who fits well with the real, imperfect you and building together from that point onwards.
Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the ride. The right connection is worth the wait.
Related posts:
How to attract the right partner for you
How to keep the spark alive in a long distance relationship
Why you might be unintentionally sabotaging your relationship
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