Why Organic Dating is Basically Extinct (And How to Fix It)
In the last few years, there has been a massive change in how we meet people. How many people do you know who “naturally” met their partner without the use of apps or social media?
There are very few instances now where people just bump into each other at a grocery store and fall in love. It very rarely happens these days.
Today, we’ll look at why organic dating is not working anymore with 6 harsh truths.
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6 Reasons Organic Dating Just Doesn’t Work Anymore!
1. We Don’t Talk to Strangers Anymore (And It’s Killing Romance)
It was only a few years ago that people could walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation without it seeming weird or intrusive. Those days are over.
Today, walking up to a stranger to strike up a conversation means that you are interfering with their day. Cold approaches have turned into coming across as “creepy.”
If someone is wearing headphones, it usually means, do not disturb, I’m in my own space.
We’ve forgotten how to flirt in real life. If we don’t have the very carefully curated DM message, then we are at a loss.
2. We Have Nowhere to Meet People (Thanks, Modern Life)
The kinds of places where we would ordinarily go to meet people has changed. The hangout spots are no longer what they used to be, where people would hang out outside of work and home. Places to just sit and take a moment to relax are quickly disappearing.
If you go to a bar or a cafe, people are no longer just chilling and catching a vibe, they have their heads buried in a laptop.
Even office romances are dying because more and more people are working from home now and not in an office.
Everywhere that was once social has become anti-social, even a public spaces like the gym. You dare not interrupt someone in the middle of squats!
3. Smartphones Murdered Serendipity
Our phones have turned us into socially awkward zombies. We do nothing but endlessly scroll and have less and less real world interactions.
Approaching someone who is fixated on their phone is tough. It was difficult at times before all of this, but now it is just super hard.
Even when we are out “socialising”, we’re not present. We’re just taking pictures for Instagram and not talking to new people. It’s difficult to separate people from their phones.
4. Dating Apps Broke Our Brains
Apps were supposed to make dating easier, but instead, they ruined our ability to connect with other people.
We have gotten to the point of having so much choice that we have analysis paralysis. Why settle when the next swipe could be “the one”
Ghosting is a normal thing that takes place. If you don’t feel like having a conversation, just ghost. We treat people like disposable options instead of actual humans.
5. The Efficiency Mindset (AKA “Why Bother?”)
We’ve been conditioned to optimise everything, everything including love.
Organic dating feels “inefficient.” Why waste your time talking to random people when you could swipe with laser precision in just a few short seconds?
Nowadays, we expect instant chemistry. If there’s no spark in 0.5 seconds, we’re out and on to the next thing, no ifs, and’s or buts.
Effort is seen as “desperate.” Playing it cool is the strategy that everyone wants to go with. You play it cool until everyone is too cool to care.
6. Shrinking Social Circles
There was a time when your friends would play matchmaker and set you up with someone they thought would be a good match for you. Those days are fading fast and are few and far between.
Adults have fewer close friends, and depending on which stage of life you are in, those potential friends might even be married already, so your options are even more limited.
Most people’s social network is small or very scattered, so finding organic matches can be difficult.
Final Thoughts On, Is Organic Dating Really Dead?
Organic dating is not dead, but it has evolved…a lot!
The good news is that there are people out there who still crave real connection. If you’re willing to put in the effort (and tolerate a little awkwardness), then you are already ahead of 99% of people who gave up and accepted dating-app dystopia as the norm.
Some Things You Can Do:
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Talk to strangers
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Go where people actually hang out.
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Put your phone away.
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Use apps, but don’t let them use you.
Do something different, take some time out to get to know someone, and see where things go. You got this!
Related posts:
4 Tips to help you date safely
10 dating mistakes you might be making
Why you didn’t get a second date and how to fix that
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