Modern Dating: How To Avoid Time Wasters
Let’s be real, dating today can feel like somewhat of a chore or a part-time job. Swiping, chatting, and meeting up with potential partners can be extremely draining.
You can put in all of that effort just to find out weeks or months down the line that the person you have been investing in doesn’t really want the same things as you or the other person suddenly decides to ghost you. Does that sound familiar? Well, you aren’t the only person this is happening to.
Time wasters are everywhere and in a world where there are endless options and low accountability, it’s pretty easy to get stuck in a cycle of dead-end connections. The good thing is that there are ways you can spot these time wasters before you begin to invest your time.
If you are tired of investing your energy in people who aren’t on the same page, you need a little strategy, a lot of self-awareness, and the courage to walk away when something feels off to you.
Here is how to spot a time waster and avoid them at all costs!
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8 Things You Can Do To Avoid A Time Waster!
1. Know Your Why Before You Swipe!
The story you write is down to you. You need to know what you want from the relationship and be able to clearly communicate that to another person. Saying things like “I’ll know it when I see it” is not helpful. Are you looking for something casual, or do you really want a committed relationship?
Be honest with yourself. Clarity is key! What are your non-negotiables? What things are you willing to compromise on? What are your expectations?
Once you know these things, it’s easier to filter out what you don’t want. If someone’s vibe doesn’t match up with what you are looking for don’t try to force it, no matter how beautiful or handsome that person is.
Knowing if you are aligned is the first and foremost. Let the other person know early on what your intentions are. Be sure to ask the other person what they are looking for and look out for vague answers such as ” I’m just seeing where things might go”. Statements like this are not a good start.
2. Actions Speak Louder Than Love Bombs
We hear the statement that “actions speak louder than words” all the time but many of us don’t really live by that rule. Some people are great smooth talkers. They know how to tell you exactly what you want and need to hear.
They will talk about how much they want a relationship but they are always too busy to meet up. They will say they want something serious but make no effort or remain active on dating apps months into dating you. Words are cheap, it’s all about action.
Some red flags that you should look out for are someone who tells you they are busy but always appears to be on social media or has time for everything else but you. They don’t take time out to work on building a deeper emotional connection with you.
3. Draw the Line & Set Boundaries
A big part of avoiding time wasters is respecting your own standards. If you want someone who puts in effort, don’t settle for half-hearted attention.
If you don’t set boundaries, they’ll take advantage of the grey area. Be upfront about what you’re looking for and what you expect from a potential partner. For example, if you need consistent communication, make that clear.
Setting boundaries isn’t abut being rigid, its about respecting your time and energy. Never invest more time into someone than they are willing to invest in you.
4. Stop Dating For Potential
One of the biggest traps in dating is falling for someone’s potential instead of who they actually are. Maybe they’re emotionally unavailable now, but you think they’ll change given time. Maybe they’re not ready for a relationship, but you’re convinced you’re the exception.
Spoiler alert: you’re not. People show you who they are, and it’s not your job to fix them or wait around for them to figure it out. If someone isn’t meeting your needs now, they’re not the right person for you.
Someone with great potential will be able to give you evidence of change and wanting it for themselves too.
5. Your Gut Knows Best – Trust It!
Intuition is a powerful thing but sometimes we ignore it in favor of logic. Usually, if something feels off, it is. Maybe you feel like the person is stringing you along or you’re unsettled about if they really like you for who you are or not. That’s your intuition trying to get your attention.
Don’t second guess yourself. Your gut is there for a reason. You need to trust it more.
6. Stop Chasing & Start Attracting
Time-wasters love attention, and they’ll happily take it from anyone willing to give it. If you find yourself constantly initiating conversations, making plans, or trying to “win them over,” it’s time to step back. A healthy relationship is a two-way street, and if someone isn’t putting in the effort, they’re not worth your energy.
Instead of chasing, focus on attracting the right people. Be your authentic self, and let the right connections come to you. It might take longer, but it’s better to wait for someone who’s genuinely interested in you than to waste time on someone who’s not.
7. Know When To Cut Your Losses & Walk Away
I would say most people know when it’s time to walk away. Often the hard part is actually walking away. Walking away means that everything comes to an end and that you are accepting that you have wasted your time and you are giving up.
That can be a hard pill to swallow. If you realise that someone is wasting your time, don’t stick aroud hoping that things will get better and change. Even if you have developed feelings for this person staying in a dead end relationship will only leave you frusted and drained of your energy.
8. Stop Making Excuses for Other People
Trying to convince yourself that someone else’s lack of effort is because they are not a very good communicator or that they are just a busy person is just an excuse to make you feel better.
The reality is, if they wanted to they would. It’s as simple as that. People who are time wasters want you to stick around while they figure things out for themselves. That may or may not go in your favour. Do you want to take that risk? You deserve to have someone who is all out for you and makes you a priority, not an option.
Final Thoughts on How To Avoid Time Wasters When Dating
No one wants to have their time wasted when dating. The best way to avoid this is to know what you want, recognise red flags when they appear, don’t settle for less and, finally know when its time to walk away. The right person will reassure you and you won’t have to question where you stand. They will show up, be consistent, and make you feel vlaued.
Related Posts:
Green flags to look for when dating
How to make the most of the honeymoon period
How to build a relationship that lasts
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