20 Things to Learn About Your Partner (That Go Beyond “What’s Your Favourite Colour?”)

20 Things To Learn About Your Partner For A Stronger Relationship

 

Building a deep and meaningful connection with your partner takes time, curiosity, and effort. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, there’s always more to discover about each other.

Here are 20 important things that you should learn about your partner to strengthen your bond and foster greater intimacy.

 

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20 Things You Can Do To Get To Know Your Partner Better

 

1. Their Love Language

If you can learn your partner’s love language, you can break a lot of barriers between you. Understanding whether they value words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch can help you express love in ways they truly appreciate.

 

2. Their Biggest Fears

Knowing what scares them (we all have things that we are a little afraid of), whether it’s failure, abandonment, or something else, knowing what your partners fears are helps you provide reassurance and support.

 

3. Their Life Goals & Dreams

What does your partner aspire to achieve in their career, personal growth, or family life? Aligning your visions can help you grow together. Alignment is the key to a successful relationship.

 

4. Their Communication Style

Do they prefer direct conversations, or do they need time to process emotions? Learning how they communicate prevents misunderstandings. 

My partner and I need time to process.  We give each other the space needed, and it leads to a much more productive conversation later on.

 

5. Their Past Relationships & Lessons Learned

While you don’t need every detail, understanding their past helps you avoid repeating old wounds.

 

6. Their Conflict Resolution Style

Do they need space after an argument, or do they prefer talking things out immediately? Respecting their process keeps conflicts healthy and prevents unnecessary arguments.

 

7. Their Core Values

Shared values (like honesty, family, or ambition) create a strong foundation for long-term compatibility.  If you and your partner share similar values, the chances of you staying together are a lot higher.

 

8. Their Favorite Ways to Relax

Do they unwind with a book, video game, or outdoor activities? Supporting their relaxation strengthens your connection.

 

 

9. Their Relationship with Family

Understanding your partner’s family dynamics helps you navigate holidays, conflicts, and emotional triggers.  

 

10. Their Financial Mindset

Finance is one of the things that can heavily impact a relationship. Is your partner a saver or a spender? Discussing money habits early on in your relationship prevents future disagreements.

 

11. Their Bucket List Items

Adventures they want to experience, travel, hobbies, or personal milestones, can become shared goals to help strengthen your relationship.

 

12. Their Pet Peeves

Knowing what irritates them (like being late or loud chewing) helps you avoid unnecessary friction.

 

13. Their Definition of Trust

What makes them feel secure? For some, it’s transparency, while others need consistency in actions.

 

14. Their Health & Wellness Habits

Do they prioritise fitness, mental health, or diet? Encouraging healthy habits benefits you both. Taking an interest in the things that they enjoy will bring you closer.

 

15. Their Sense of Humor

What makes them laugh? Shared humor keeps the relationship light and joyful.

Understanding your dynamic as a couple is really helpful.  My partner and I are very playful, and we can use this as an advantage when it comes to disagreements and generally getting to know each other better.

 

 

16. Their Social Needs

Are they an introvert who needs alone time, or an extrovert who thrives on socialising? Respecting their energy levels is key.  If they are a person who needs full sleep, then respect that so that you can have a better day together.

 

17. Their Spiritual or Philosophical Beliefs

Discussing faith, purpose, or existential views deepens emotional intimacy.

 

18. Their Love for Surprises

Do they enjoy spontaneous gestures, or do they prefer predictability? Tailor your romantic efforts accordingly.

 

19. Their Deal-Breakers in a Relationship

Knowing their non-negotiables (like loyalty, independence, or shared lifestyle choices) helps avoid future conflicts.

 

20. How They Define a Happy Relationship

Ask them what their ideal partnership looks like; this ensures you’re both working toward the same vision and therefore the same future.

 

Final Thoughts on 20 Things To Learn About Your Partner

The more you learn about your partner, the deeper your connection becomes. These conversations should be ongoing.  People evolve, and so do relationships. The key is to evolve together.

Keep asking questions, listening actively, and showing genuine interest in who they are.

 

Related Posts:

10 Heartfelt ways to show your partner you love them

How to make the most of the honeymoon phase

Understanding love languages, how to strengthen your relationship

 

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